The price you pay for having an opinion
Word Origin & History
opinion c.1300, from O.Fr. opinion (12c.),from L. opinionem (nom. opinio) “opinion,conjecture, what one thinks,” from stemof opinari “think, judge, suppose, opine,”from PIE *op- “to choose.” — thesaurus.com
Another thing to keep in mind, is that the whole article is about opinions, not facts — about having something to say in a certain context, not to debate if the coffee is good or bad (science has the answer for facts, so do not mix them).
Now, back to the point — I have to admit it: I highly dislike the ones that say nothing. That have no opinion or just watch everything around them like a theater scene. The ones that stay quiet so they won’t be different or upset someone. People should stand up for their beliefs and fight for them — well, not really fight, but at least say it with an argument and make a whole sentence on it.
Of course, you can put your thoughts under lock and key — but if you won’t get listened or you get frustrated, it will be mostly your fault for not providing a sentence on what do you think.
A few small things that I find common-sense for everyone and it would be great to see this more often:
- to be straightforward
- not being ashamed for being different or having a different opinion
- having the attitude to speak-up
- having arguments for what you’re saying
- know when to stop your fight — by having an opinion, it does not mean that everyone should have it. It means you should make it clear for the others so they know what you stand for or how it can affect you (or not)
Of course, if we add some ego here, everything might go completely wrong. If we add a small sense of fear, again, you might get frustrated that you will be excluded. But with a bit of patience you will go through some scenarios and learn how to state your point of view.
The weirdest part of this is that at the end of the day, there is a fucking price that you’re gonna pay for it. But at least it feels good. Really.
People will call you a hater. Or they will say that you just want to be different. Or that you don’t respect the others’ opinions. You may also hurt people for being straightforward. People might get it wrong at first. None of them is intended (at least not in my case), but people just got used to live in a crystal bubble where nothing bad is said to them — and by having someone with another opinion is weird. Also, I always thought that the best thing in a relationship is to know where you stand, so there is no high expectation, low expectation, dissapointment, misunderstanding and so on.
I do hate the ones that are nice or avoid saying their opinion and you just think everything is ok and then you get underfucked by them. I call these people underfuckers, for obvious reasons.
There are also the dummies — they are the nice and naive ones. They won’t upset you or say something because it doesn’t matter — but it actually matters. A lot. Based on your opinions I know if we will talk about weather or something more interesting. I will know if asking for an advice will get me a real thought back or something that will not upset me.
Saying your damn opinion is about you, what you’re thinking, feeling or how you put everything in a specific context. Is about making sense of ideas. And there is nothing wrong about it, no matter if your new in the city, shy, small, tall, white, black, queer or whatever you feel like it.
Of course, we all fail at this from time to time. Some of us will not speak-up, some will try to convince the others that they are wrong, some will fight, but at least you can start from somewere.
Again, being straightforward might hurt people and lack of intent does not absolve me/us from apologising. At the end of the day, it’s the result that matters, not what you intended, thought or did because that’s how you would expect someone to do for you. I am still learning this, but maybe by writing it and having more people around saying stuff will make it easy and I will stop offending people with my thoughts. And, another obvious thing is to apologise if you are going over the line.
Take this as food for thought for your work at your startup or normal job, for your friends or clients and for yourself. Mostly for yourself, actually. You won’t be so frustrated anymore.
This is pretty much it. If you have any recommendations, shoot. If not, click heart!