Why the fuck we got up in a hurry?
We are born to run (thx, Springsteen!) and then we grow-up hearing that we should eat fewer sweets because they will only give us a sugar rush and later on, when shit life gets real, you might also hear that You can run but you can’t hide!
In the past months I felt awful: a mix of anxiety, tiredness, depression and, even though it might sound peculiar, there is also a shade of accomplishment ‘cuz I managed to do some basic things — e.g. having a glass of wine with my better half, visit my mom, have a nice job, etc. It makes no sense!
Going backwards and trying to identify what is happening to me (and I bet there are others too), all the answers led to time and rushing to nowhere/ everywhere in the same time.
Basically, we never have the time to do what we actually love, we do not have the time to read, to draw and scribble, to be silly, to visit our parents, to get a cat (ok, you should really make some time for this, ok?).
And then, when we get old/depressed/overwhelmed or we lose someone and out of a sudden we realise how much we failed and how much time we actually had.
I mean, let’s run a test of imagination and think at our normal day
We get up and the first thing we do is to look at the clock. We rush into the bathroom to brush our teeth and floss (hopefully, but most people find it time-consuming), get a coffee on the go and try to catch the bus. If the traffic lights are green, we are literally running to catch them. The fucking lights will go green in a few minutes again. And why the heck should we catch the bus, instead of taking it?
Anyway, we get into the office, open our computers and start the planning on the long run and the short run. Isn’t it peculiar?
We get hungry, so we go out for lunch and face the damn rush hour. Then we eat in a hurry and try to get back to the office on time. Start working again, some of us are having a timer for each task, some let the imagination run and that is also part of working. Either way: time and imagination keep running. The billing hours too and, hopefully, we will get paid on time and we will not run out of money before the rent deadline.
The thing is that we live in a world full of information, everything is moving fast now and we do not have the time to set our priorities, we go with the flow and miss the whole point of living the damn moment (cliché, I know, but it is what it is).
To be honest, I am the worst example on the planet for this: I started working when I was still a student, then I had my bachelor exam on a nice and sunny Friday, went home, packed my things, moved to another city and started a job on Monday. With no time to actually celebrate that damn engineering degree and the 4 years of study. Then I got in love with my job and in the first year I did not even had a proper holiday. After 3 years I resigned, changed the city again and started a new job. The switch from the old to the new job and city I had only 5 days. 5 damn days!
No to mention that I still have free days since last year — don’t ask! Nobody is asking me to actually keep them? or to stay at work. Or whatever. And I am pretty sure that there are lots of similar cases out there!
Why the fuck are we running for the green light if it will be green again in just a few minutes? why the fuck are we running to catch the bus or metro if there is a new line in 2–3 minute (Berlin, I am pointing you)? why do we wake up and we first look at the clock? All these make me sad, anxious and, I have to admit it, I have no clue how to keep calm, breath and walk away like there is tomorrow!